I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
