he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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