I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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