Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
