the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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