so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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