Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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