did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
