Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
