Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
