So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
