they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
