I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my vag is so smooth its legendary
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
