I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
