Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
