4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
