He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
