why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
