Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
