We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
