Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
