I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They took my balls.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
