Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
