at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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