11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize