Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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