you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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