I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
