Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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