6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
