So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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