When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
