I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
grandma shit on top of the toilet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize