I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
