There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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