how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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