What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize