just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
