i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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