ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
