she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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