Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
