I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
