Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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