Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
