So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
