i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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