The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
