dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
