our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
