I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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