omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
