i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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