its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Mom said you looked used
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
