I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
