What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize