Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
