omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
