wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we're making bets on your personal life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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