im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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