i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
