Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
