So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want nice things and good sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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