just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
