I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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