Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
