i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
