That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this will be a night to untag.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
