So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
